Julie, The Real Deal

 Chapter 1.  Dating Julie

Prompt- Why did you ask out Julie?

Julie and I first met at a church young adult parking lot Dance out on the Ririe Highway north of Iona.  I was 22, attending BYU, but home for the summer working in residential landscaping. Long hard days in the sun had made me blonde, tanned and ripped by July 3, 1987, the night we met.  My kids have already rolled there eyes at this, but what can I say, it was true and part of the reason I got Julie’s attention.

Julie had just graduated HS 6 weeks earlier and was working in a garden mart, saving money to go to Ricks College the following fall.  She was a sun lover and had the kind of skin that tanned fast and dark naturally to match her dark brown hair and medium brown eyes.  She had spent her senior year as the Cheer Queen at Skyline HS which kept her active and in good shape.  At 5 foot 2 and 110 lbs she was petite but strong.  Cheering on crowds of people at assemblies and sporting events caused her to developed a confidence and extra exuberant manner beyond her natural positive persona.

While I was meandering through the parking lot dance crowd, she bounced right in front of me.  In an instant I took her in, the confident wide smile with teeth almost touching her lower lip, the laughing, wide open eyes, the whole face radiating enthusiasm.  In 80’s style her hair was feathered, permed, and fell just past the shoulders.  She wore some fitted black pants and a white jersey knit T or polo, with a large white collar trimmed with a lace or scalloped thread.  It all struck like lightning and I instantly shouted above the 80’s dance beat, “Hey, do you want to dance?”

We danced few dances, and I learned her name and that she had just graduated HS.  I was 22, so she was 4 years younger.  Acceptable.  We parted ways, and latter on I was looking for her again as the dance wrapped up. I wanted to ask her out for the next night, but had to ask another girl when I couldn’t find her.

As the summer when on, I looked for her at other dances, and I found her a week or two later, but she was with a date, so I didn’t approach.  By late July or Early Aug, I found her again.  We danced and talked, and I was ready to ask her out.  I can’t remember if I got her number or just looked it up, but a couple of days later I called her on the phone and she seemed very happy to say yes to my invitation.

I have to say here that Julie liked me instantly also.  She was following me with her eyes that first dance, and told me later that she was “so mad” that I was talking to that other girl who I asked out.  She also later told me that she was “so mad” that she was with another boy at that second dance as she apparently had her eye on me too then.  She wrote in her journal that when I first called, she was not at home, but that I had left a message with her Mom that I would call back later.  Her mom passed the message on to her at a friends house, telling her that a boy named Brad Hatch called and said he would call back later.  She and her friend rushed back to her home and waited for my call…

Prompt- What did you and Julie do on your first dates, and what did you learn about each other, and why did you keep dating?

Our first date was the driving range at Sand Creek Golf Course.  It was early August and perfectly warm and pleasant as the evening sun was lowing in the west which is to the left of the driving range facing north, perfect if you are right handed, back to the sun while you swing, but with ample views of the setting SE Idaho sun when not swinging, no better sunsets anywhere.  I was pretty bad, still am, but she had never swung a golf club, so it was fun to teach her and she had a blast.  After that we went to Smith’s Food King, and bought pizza toppings and went to my parents house and made pizza and watched the movie, The Absent-Minded Professor.  I don’t really remember what we talked about, pretty light and fun stuff.  It was maybe my best first, or even best date ever up to that point.

It was probably on this first date that I learned the basics about her family, HS days, cheering, and plans to go to Ricks.  In the dates that followed over the weeks and months, I learned that she had no greater goal and aspiration in life than to have children and raise a family.  She had no pretense of wanting a career outside the home.  I learned that she wanted to go to college, get as much education as she could before the first child came, to prepare to teach her children, and to improve her understanding of everything on God’s earth, and of God’s ways.  She had a strong desire to go on a mission, and to wait for marriage until after.

We went on a total of four dates in August, before I left for BYU in Provo, and she started at Ricks in Rexburg.  The four dates are a bit of a mix and I might have things jumbled a little now, but one of the dates was a double date involving getting blocks of ice and sliding down the hill on them wear the off ramp of I-15 meets the Highway 20 overpass, sliding right down into the barrow pit of I-15.  Yes stupid and crazy.  I would not approve of that now as a parent, and I can’t remember what her parents thought, or if they knew.  Afterward, we dropped by the square dance in down town Idaho Falls to see her parents dance dressed in traditional square dance attire, and say Hi.

Another date was making “Tin Foil Dinners” and taking them to the banks of the Snake River up stream of Heise Hot Springs.  We sat in the long green grass of the river bank, made a fire and cooked the dinners as the sun set.  The dinners were gourmet ground beef patties with onions, carrots, potatoes seasoned with salt and pepper, and eaten with ketchup.

Our last date of the summer was going to the Iona square, a park in the center of town with large grassy areas, old trees, baseball fields, a grand stand, playground and picnic tables.  We were alone there that evening, and we grilled rib eye steak and threw a frisbee around.  I then took her back to my parents home and talked with them for a bit.  As the sun set in the back yard, and blazed through the living room windows we sat at the piano and played a little.  It was then that I played and sang for her a favorite song, and really impressed her.  It was the only song I knew how to play, and the moment at the end of the song when when I pound out the keys and sing, “a one two thee four! the cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon…”  That moment became legendary and I never heard the end of it.

We both liked what we saw and felt.  Julie was humble and confident.  She knew what she wanted, which was a simple life, family, service to God, education, good health, and outdoor activity.  She dressed stylishly and modestly, and always looked like she took care of her appearance, but with not much make up, mostly just eyes and lips.  I learned that she was very frugal, careful with money, didn’t care to own a lot of clothes and shoes.  She got a lot of this from her family.  Her conversation was easy going but bright and positive, as was her laugh, not loud or obnoxious.  She spoke positively about almost everyone.  Everyone that I met that knew her were always excited to see her, and they looked at me with a touch of critical sizing up.  Her hobbies and interest included playing piano, sewing, cooking (pie making), skiing and hiking.  She felt sad when people were mistreated or bullied, and she liked talking to strangers and people who lacked some of the advantages in life or who appeared to be down.

Julie lived in a modest neighborhood in Idaho Falls.  Her Dad was a highly respected and sought after auto mechanic and ran his auto repair shop out of his home garage, located just north of the Idaho Falls temple.  When I dropped Julie off at night, she stood on the front step putting us close to eye level.  Looking south below the moons path, we could both see the top of the Idaho Falls temple with the angel Moroni raising just above the roof of the church a block away.  Later on we would embrace in that spot, kiss, and always the temple was present.  But on that night of our last summer date, we didn’t kiss, not even sure if we hugged, but we both knew that we had started something.

Prompt- How did dating progress to marriage?  What challenges did you face?  How did you win each others love?

Chapter 2, Marriage Before Kids